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Not-so-perfect Bike Trip

 Dear Tang, James, and Adam,

         I really had high hopes that things would go smoothly and safely. Things started fine with just a few adjustments/repair on your bike, James, and we were all excited. Maybe for different reasons.. James and Adam, you were looking forward to playing Left for Dead at a computer shop in town. Tang, you're main reason was to place your order for the initial materials for our dream home and I was excited for the whole family to have this first bike trip together and to see if we can do it. I had no idea how long it would take us or how it's gonna be.

        Before we left, I reminded you, Adam, and gave you instructions on where to put your feet while riding behind Daddy, so that you'll avoid an accident, which I felt was very possible to happen. Just a few minutes of rolling, we saw a mommy goat who had just given birth, licking her kid. We were intrigued by what was hanging from where the baby came out. Tang, you thought it's the placenta and so did I, but I was also considering water bag as it looked like it had urine in it. And then, an accident happened. I heard you, Adam. You were pleading for help with your soft voice "Daddy, Daddy, ouch, Daddy". I thought you were only scared because Daddy looked like falling on the ground with the bike. I looked closer and saw your foot stuck in between the wheel and the bar while Daddy struggled to carefully remove it without making it worse. I panicked, I blamed you for not listening, and in my mind, I blamed you, Tang, for not being careful enough. I also blamed myself for not listening to my gut feeling and for not making sure that you'll be safe, Adam. I was very sorry, I still am as I write this. Tang, I know I still have to learn a better way to communicate and I am always grateful for your patience.

           After we made sure that Adam was ok and decided to let him sit in front, we continued our trip and started enjoying our ride. Every now and then, we reminded you, James, to stay on the left side, away from the river, which was deeper due to the continuous rainfall these past few days. James, you were so happy that you can ride your bike and you felt strong. We talked about how being strong and fit is more important than being thin or fat. You have been bothered by kids calling you fat, we try to explain and we feel bad for you too. We are trying our best to make you feel that you look perfect for us, you are good enough, James, you are enough. 

           We were able to accomplish what we had to do in town after about 30-minutes of bike ride on both rough and cemented roads. We had fun! Well, until we stopped by a school and some kids told you, James, "Taba" or "Mataba" (fat) again. James, you were so mad, I wished I could make them understand. It's not you, it was their lack of understanding or as we notice, it could also be a cultural thing here. It was sad that you wanted to stop by to play with these kids, but it ended up like this. You went ahead and I chased you. We passed by the goat, now with her two kids, but you didn't care. You were so pissed off. This part of our reality sucks! I wish I could hug you tight enough so that you won't hear those hurtful things, but that won't help in the long run, I know. I cannot shield you from things like this forever. You know what James and Adam, we live in a not-so-perfect world, with a not-so-perfect bike trips like this, that might start fine but end up with you Adam, hurting your foot, and you, James, feeling hurt and with your imperfect parents losing our patience. But please also know, that despite all these imperfections, we have just enough love for you to be strong enough, to believe in your strength and in your own beauty. We had some bumpy roads and muddy puddles, but we also had a spectacular scenery, a computer game to look forward to, an errand we were excited to do, and family that will share the experience with us. And that's why we rode our bikes in the first place. 

This was taken on another bike trip a few days before.

Love and hugs,
Mommy

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